There was my Mom..

When dad left for the heavenly abode, Mom said one thing, ‘Sonia, just because someone is not around, it does not mean that the person has left you. Your dad is here, with us, though his body is no more. Your dad lives in your and my heart, lit like a candle’. And that is how Mom kept Dad alive all her life.

I was a seven year school going girl and my younger sister, a toddler. From whatever understanding I had, about death, I asked her, ‘Has Daddy gone away into the skies, to God?’ Mom replied, ‘God is here, within us, which also means, Dad is here, along with us’.

With this belief, we gathered the pieces of our life once again and continued with life. Dad’s long illness had left us with little resource but then Mom said, the best resource she had was three of us: Mom and her two daughters.

I know, life has never been easy for her. She continued her job as the secondary school teacher in the little town of Karma, where we lived. A part of the house was rented out and we shifted all our belongings to the two room-kitchen space. But, in spite of all the hardships she had, we never found her losing the Faith.


She was there, always, all through our little steps and bigger marches in life. She was there, when I held my sister in my hands and hurt her unknowingly; she was there when I fought with the neighbourhood kids and broke my toys; she was there when I fell from the stairs and lost a tooth.

She was there when I learnt to tie a knot in the hair. After my initial experiment with my dolls, I insisted on trying it out on her. She agreed. I could see how it pained. When she cried in pain, I was upset, so she bore the pain and clutching her fist tight, she went through the ordeal only to show her excitement on my achievement.

As I grew older, I questioned her sometimes, why God had to give us more challenges than we could face. She said, it is ‘Raising the Bar’. God is raising the bar of resilience and making us stronger, she said.

When I reached college and met my first love, Mom was my confidant and a vigilant guide as well. She insisted on meeting him and knowing what he thought about the relation. Through my failed relationships, Mom was there. I cried into her lap each time; but one day decided to leave home since she disapproved of the relation I was then having.

Mom was there when I returned, hurt and failed.

A little frail, a little older and a little weaker, I saw her waiting at the door. Had I failed her? Were the years of her hardship gone a waste? I asked her, kneeling before her.

Mom, standing at the door, picked me up, hugged me and said, ‘Sonia, just because someone is not around, it does not mean that the person has left you. You were here, with me, in my heart, lit like a candle’.

And I once again cried into her lap.





Photograph: From the internet